I was asked to write a post about marriage, before I was even married myself. I wasn’t sure what to write, but as I wrote one post after praying that God would give me the words, God decided to give me enough words to overflow three blog posts. God is kind of cool like that.
I shared with you the 10 secrets to a happy marriage, and now I want to share with you what exactly the Bible says about the topic. Because although the Bible doesn’t ever talk about dating, which I find really inconvenient (Thanks a lot God!), it does talk a lot about marriage.
What the Bible Says About Marriage
The best place to get great marriage advice straight from the Father Himself is to look up Ephesians 5:21-33, which is titled in my Bible as, “Instructions for Christian Households.”
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
OK, I’m going to attempt to explain this. Remember, I’ve had no theology training. I’m not a pastor. I can’t read Hebrew or Greek. I’m just a girl who’s trying to understand God’s Word like you are. So here we go, I believe this is telling wives they are #2 in the relationship. Men are the leaders of the marriage and the family, and we need to treat them that way. This passage is comparing the husband (leader of the family) to Christ (leader of the church). I think of this as when a husband and wife make decisions, they make them together but ultimately the husband is the leader and he makes the final decision. A true man of God would not make a decision that would in any way harm his wife or family. He will make what he thinks is the very best decision. (Of course, everyone makes mistakes so husbands, please don’t feel pressure to be perfect.)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
In the same way Jesus loves the church, or in other words his children, so a husband must love his wife. Jesus sacrificed himself for his children. Hello, biggest sign of love ever. And that is exactly the way a husband must treat his wife — sacrificing himself in order to lift his wife up and make her radiant. Men, the way you love your own body and would protect it and take care of it is the same way you should treat your wife. Because, in a way, she is your own body …
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Like I was saying before, a man takes care of his own body, and in this way he must also take care of his wife. Because, like it says here a man and woman become one body when they unite in marriage, both physically and spiritually and emotionally. So a man needs to put aside his human-nature selfishness, and see his wife as himself. She is one with him and so he must love her as much as he loves himself.
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
OK, so Paul is the one writing this book. He’s saying here that love and marriage is a mystery. It is difficult to understand. It’s difficult to have a successful and happy marriage. Paul was like me and wasn’t married, so I definitely hear him here. But he sums it up by saying a husband must love his wife as much as he loves himself and a wife must respect her husband, which is what it means when saying, “wives submit to your husbands.”
Side Note: There’s one thing I want to mention. Being the head of the household, the leader of the family, the one in charge, can produce a whole heck of a lot of pressure for the man. I can only imagine how overwhelming this must be — to have to make the right decisions or your wife and family could pay the price. It makes me glad I’m a woman, even if I do have to feel crabby and crampy every month. The only way a man can handle all that pressure is to walk with God. A man has to know that he can’t lead his family on his own. He has to ask for the strength, He has to ask God to show him the way and the right path to take. A man must ask God to lead him in order that he may lead his wife and family. Here’s a song that says exactly what I’m trying to say, so please take the time to listen:
So there you have it — exactly what the Bible says about marriage and commentary from a girl who has never experienced it herself. If you have your own explanations, please feel free to share. I don’t claim to know all, so other commentary is welcomed.
Other scripture about marriage:
- Hebrews 13:4
- Romans 7:2
- 1 Corinthians 7:36
- Matthew 19:9
- 1 Corinthians 7:9
- 1 Timothy 5:14
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