It’s been so long since I’ve posted. Too long. I have wanted to blog, but I just haven’t found the time. Motherhood has been a huge adjustment for me — there are so many more hard mom days than I had expected. I used to be able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I would spend hours a day on the computer working on this blog and my social media pages. Now, I spend hours trying to get Raylee to nap! It feels like she has complete control over my day. Everything is wrapped around when she eats and naps. And honestly, it has been hard. Hard for me to let go of what used to be and embrace this new normal.
But you know what, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Breastfeeding is going well, but it took hard work and fighting through some difficult things to get to this point. Now, we are in the pain of getting her on a sleep schedule. Boy, talk about frustrating! But you know, I’m beginning to see a little progress. So I know once we get to where she will willingly nap and sleep through the night — it will be because we stuck to it and did the hard work. And God answering prayer!
If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve already seen this. But I want to share what I wrote there, here on my blog too. (If you don’t follow me on Instagram, you should because I post there often.)
What’s Getting Me Through Hard Mom Days
Raylee has always taken naps while being held. But as much as we want to cuddle and hold her forever, we know we must break her of this habit. She has to be able to sleep on her own. It’s for her own good, and ultimately ours too. I could get a lot more done if I didn’t have to lay perfectly still as I hold her during naps!
Last week, we began this very difficult journey of teaching our little one to sleep in her crib during naps. It has been frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming, and stressful. I have felt so ill-equipped, not knowing what I’m doing or what is the right thing. Keep patting her chest and shushing her? Walk away and let her cry? Rock her more? Everyone has different opinions and each baby is different. So it is very difficult to know what will work and what’s best for my little one. I know that I put a ton of pressure on myself to do things right.
When we first started the process, it was a weekend so Travis was home to help. Together, we worked hard on getting her into a routine. I was glad he could get a taste of how hard this is. Because now, I’m all on my own. I sit here all by myself. All three naps are up to me. I am the only one here to pat and pat and pat for as long as it takes to get her to fall asleep. Consistency is key, so even if she never falls asleep — I keep patting … until I want to pull my hair out! (Of course with postpartum hair loss, I can’t afford to pull any hair out!)
The other night, after a long day of nap time struggles, a friend posted something her mom had texted her when she was having a hard day momming. And it hit home for me.
She said something along these lines — You feel weak because He is bringing you to the end of your own strength. It is only when we are weak, when we can’t do it on our own, that Christ can step in. It is only in His strength that we can do this mom thing well. We must keep looking toward Him.
I wrote this prayer on my Instagram post — “Christ, I can’t do this on my own. I can only pat my baby for so long. Please step in. Give me your overflowing, ultimate strength. And when this baby finally sleeps, may you have the glory. Amen.”
I hope this is encouraging to you. Motherhood is down right hard. And I know I’ve only just begun the journey. But throughout every hard day or week or heck, year, Christ can get us through. With His strength we can get through to the next phase. He can give us patience. He can give us wisdom. So on those hard days, ladies and gentlemen, take it to Jesus.
Once my little Raylee Bear begins to nap well, I am so excited to start blogging more. I have so many blog posts in mind. I’ve got a baby update coming soon with lots of photos!
What blog posts would you like to see? Any questions you’d like me to cover?