I was talking to someone recently about making certain dating decisions. She was stuck in a place where she felt she needed to choose between two things. She felt like her head and her heart were contradicting each other.
I’ve been there before. Your heart says, “Go for it!” and your head says, “Whoa, wait a minute here.” Or vice versa. Have you been in a place where you had to choose between your head or heart?
It puts you into a chaotic situation, trying to figure out what is best. A lot of times, I think we feel like we have to choose to listen to one or the other — our head or heart. But I actually don’t believe that.
Head or Heart: Why You Should Use Both
I think God gave us both heads and hearts for a reason. And I think He wants us to use both. I’ve always been a believer in following my heart. Maybe because I’m such an emotional and sensitive person.
But I’ve also always been cautious about my dating relationships — using my head to make smart decisions. (Not always, but most of the time) Maybe because I know there are specific things I want, and I’m not willing to settle, or maybe because I know what it feels like to be hurt and my head wants to do whatever it can to protect my heart.
I think they work together like that. The head wants to protect the heart, but the heart wants to make the head happy. No wonder it can feel like chaos inside you, a battle between two important parts of yourself.
Here’s my advice, though. First of all, realize there is no time limit to the dating decisions you have to make. Take your time. Seriously pray about it, and don’t do anything until you know what is best. Second, use both your logic (head) and emotions (heart) to make the decision. You need to protect your heart while following it. If you can follow your heart while protecting it, there’s the perfect choice.
Above all else, guard your heart for from it flows the springs of life. -Proverbs 4:23
But if following your heart most likely ends up in disaster or heartache, listen more to your head. It’s really about looking at all the possibilities. I know we can’t know the future, but I think a lot of times we know deep down if something isn’t right for us, no matter how bad we might want it. In those cases, it is better to ask God to change our desires.
I feel for those of you making these tough decisions, trying to listen to your head and heart. I know how much of a struggle it can be to find the balance between the two. But in all things, in every decision we make, God works for the good.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28
He wants what is best for us, and He will bring that to be eventually. Until then, take your time, pray diligently, and listen to both your head and heart. God will show you which path to take.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:6
What do you think? Do you normally follow your head or heart?
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