As a military family, there are going to be many weeks or months or years where my husband is away.
This week my husband has been in the field for training. Next month, he’ll be gone a little longer. The month after that he’ll be gone longer still. And a few months from now, he’ll be gone for a whole month.
I just keep telling myself that’s nothing — this isn’t a deployment. But since we haven’t been through a deployment yet, this kind of sucks. No matter how long your husband will be gone, it’s totally OK to wear one of his shirts, eat cereal for supper, and wallow a little in your loneliness. Missing him is a good thing. It means you love him. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, you don’t want to spend every single day in his dirty sweatpants, stuffing your face with pints of ice cream.
So I’ve come up with a list of things to do while hubby is away — whether that be for training, because he’s out in the field, he’s deployed, or maybe he’s off on a business trip. This list works best for wives who don’t have children yet or for those moms who can get a babysitter. So let’s get started!
What to Do While He’s Away
Work Extra
OK, I know this doesn’t sound fun. Not all of these are going to be fun, but they are things to keep your mind off of the empty bed you’ll crawl into that night. Since you don’t need to get home right away to make supper, work some overtime. Rack up the dough! Or if you are like me and work from home, I’ve been using this time to get ahead on all my stories. I love being ahead — it takes the stress away later (You know when I’m wanting to spend time with my hubby)!
Pamper Yourself
Choose a day to focus on yourself (especially after all that work). You need to relax and rejuvenate. If hubby is gone for a long time, you can have a Pamper Yourself Day once a month! Go get a facial, a massage, and a mani/pedi. Or if you’re looking for something less expensive, create your own. Light some candles, put on some soft music, and use bath salts while soaking away your stress in the bathtub. Use a facial mask — you can get cheap ones at Walmart for just a couple bucks. You can even go all out and chop up a cucumber to put on your eyes! Paint your nails and toenails yourself. Relax and enjoy.
Visit Family
Whether you live close or far, this could be a great time to go home and visit family. Drive, fly, take a train, take a bus, take a boat — just get home! If you don’t have the money to travel, Skype or face time or just talk on the phone. You can call someone new each evening and catch up.
Have a Girls Night
Get all your friends together and go out for dinner and drinks. Or have them over to your house for dessert and wine. Or go out for brunch one morning. So many options! This one is especially great if your friends’ husbands are gone too!
Work Out
Depending how long your husband is gone, you can focus on a work out regime to get into your best shape. When your husband comes back, you’ll be the hottest you yet! What a welcome home present! Even though my husband was gone for just a week this time, I was still strict about making sure I worked out every day. And since I knew there was no one home, I spent as much time as I wanted at the gym.
Read a Book
Start a book you’ve been wanting to read. I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes without my hubby next to me, so having a book to read before falling asleep helps me grow tired. You get to fall into a character’s life and forget about your own for awhile.
Eat Breakfast for Dinner
A friend of mine recently said she was excited to have breakfast for dinner. Her husband doesn’t like breakfast for dinner, but since he’ll be gone she can make it all she wants. If there’s some food you love and your husband hates, now is the time to eat it! Go to that restaurant he doesn’t like, make the meal you can’t make while he’s home. Here’s your chance!
Watch That Show
Do you have a guilty pleasure show? Or maybe it’s not a guilty pleasure but you love it and your hubby can’t stand it? Pop some popcorn and watch it until your heart’s content!
Deep Clean and De-Clutter
Without the one making the messes around, it can be easier to spend some time cleaning. Put on some upbeat music and work from room-to-room deep cleaning or de-cluttering. This is also your best chance for throwing out that disgusting old T-shirt he always wears. “I don’t know where it is honey … did you look in the bottom drawer? I haven’t seen it…”
And last but certainly not least …
Don’t Shave Your Legs!
Enough said.
If you have other ideas for things to do while hubby is away, I’d love to hear them in the comments!
You may also want to read:
- The Best Countdown App
- Uplifting & Strengthening Playlist to Overcome Deployment
- Ways to Sleep Better + A Bedtime Prayer
Be sure to check out my Pinterest boards Loving my Hubby and Military Life.
My hubby works nights – so I’m getting used to that now. I miss him too and have to sometimes find things to do with my time. Evenings can be long and there is only so much watching the tv I can handle. So I decided to choose “service” and am trying to do something for God on at least one night he is gone. Not reading my Bible or staying home – but getting out and doing something. It’s been great. I am also going to a “Gathering” once a month. It’s a small group of people who get together and sing worship songs and then have a discussion and of course snacks. I’ve met a lot of new friends there. And, I’m also trying to clean and work on going through my clothes and donating the things I’ve hung on to for some crazy reason.
Loved your ideas! Thanks for sharing.
Great ideas! I’m glad you have the Gathering to go to!
We’re not a military family, but a few times a year my boyfriend has to travel for work. It’s hard! I don’t know how military families deal with that all the time. I like all your ideas though. Especially about eating what you want and watching all those shows you love 🙂
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Thanks Trish! I definitely wanted to make sure this post could be for people in all sorts of situations – not just military families. Glad you stopped by!
I love having one of my girlfriends over and watching a girly movie and eating girly food when my husband is gone. Thankfully, it’s not too often. When he’s working late a lot of time my 3 year old and I will just do snacks for supper.
Snacks for Supper? Love it!
This was very helpful. My husband has deployment training for six weeks (but he’s not actually deploying, long story). He’s leaving in a few days, and even though I know it’s not a deployment I’m still… sad. He’s been in the field before, for up to 10 days, but I still feel- well- underprepared. I really don’t enjoy being without him for several reasons, but this has definitely helped me with my perspective. I love the way it was put “Without the one making the messes…”. So true! I’m now thinking of all the cleaning, organizing, and decorating possibilities! Also planning a girls weekend since my best friend lives in a beach town only a few hours away. But really, thanks for sharing your ideas! It’s helped me feel more at ease(:
I’m so glad this post helped you Collene. Of course these ideas aren’t going to take away our sorrow or our longing for our husbands, but I think it’s important to keep living rather than wrap our whole lives into waiting for them to get back. A girls weekend is such a great idea!!
I love this! It’s so true. Including the T-shirt and cereal thing. ESPECIALLY that! You’re absolutely right about how any time away, no matter the length, sucks. No, it may not be a deployment, but I feel like so many people pit it like a competition and invalidate what is a real experience for us all. Let’s be supportive of each other! My man has been away for ten weeks and I’m gonna go see him parade in two days! I can’t wait. Wish I had read this at the beginning of those weeks.
You are exactly right Nicola! We do oftentimes make it a competition, when in reality and time apart just plain stinks! Rather than act like we have it worse, let’s just encourage and support one another! I’m so glad you get to see your man soon!
Thank you so much for this! My fiancé is gone for 5 days a week for 11 weeks for the fire academy. I am almost done with my first week and I can relate to everything you said here.
People kept saying it won’t be so bad, you will be fine, kid of downgrading how I was feeling. It has been the hardest week I have ever had. I think about him day and night. I wait by my phone for the two minute phone calls and texts when he gets breaks.
Lets just say in the 6 years we have been together we have only been apart for at most 4 days. So having this happen every week will be extremely difficult.
I am so glad I am not alone with this.
Jordan, I’m so sorry that you guys are having to experience separation. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a few days, a few weeks, or even a year or longer — it sucks. Don’t let anyone downplay how you are feeling. It’s OK to miss him and be sad — in fact, it’s good! If you didn’t miss him, you guys might have a problem!
Thank you for this. Tonight is night two of my husband being gone for AT. Being as we’ve only been married three weeks and only been apart at most 3 days during our year and a half together I have to say I’m struggling to not make this harder on him. He’ll be gone three weeks and I’m already planning things to do to keep myself and our kids busy during this time. I knew when I agreed to the relationship these times would come and have always tried to prepare for it but you never truly can be prepared for time away from your soul mate. I would have to say that the hardest part is getting a call from them and only getting a couple minutes to hear their voice and hear about parts of their day before they have to go again and the entire time you’re just wishing for more time and trying not to cry as you say goodbye or goodnight. It’s even worse when you don’t know when that next call is gonna come through! I probably have spent more time checking for missed messages and calls then anything else lol. Again thank you for your post of encouragement and ideas. Hopefully this will help to keep me from constantly staring at my phone just praying that call comes through!
I totally get it Natasha! It doesn’t matter how long he’s gone, it still stinks! But the fact that we hate being apart and really miss each other, means we have great relationships and someone we truly love. I hope these 3 weeks go fast for you!
I am not a military spouse, just a girlfriend but my boyfriend is posted 200 miles always from me so I only get to see him most weekends and he’s going to Canada on a 10 week deployment exercise at the end of next month where we don’t know if we’re aloud contact and I am absolutely dreading it. Thankfully, I am a university student in my final year so for the first 5 weeks I have my finals to concentrate on but after that I just don’t know what I can do with myself but this post has definitely given me some ideas!
Hey Cadie! Sorry to hear he’s leaving soon. I really hope ya’ll will be able to communicate during that time. It’s so dang hard having to be apart AND having no communication! I’m glad this post gave you a few ideas!