6 Things I Learned as a New Military Spouse

I’ve been married for almost two years to a man in the military. Right after our honeymoon, I moved in with my husband who was stationed in Georgia at the time. Moving near a military base, spending time there, and listening to a husband talk about his job made me learn so much about military life. As an Army girlfriend, I really had no idea about so many of the things I know about now.

Today, I’m sharing the six things I’ve learned as a new military spouse.

1. Revelry & Retreat

Every morning, the American flag is lifted and Revelry is played over speakers throughout the entire military base. Every evening, the American flag is taken down and Retreat is played. At these times, if you are outside you are expected to stop what you are doing and face the flag. Cars pull over to the side of the road at these times and drivers step out of their cars to face the flag. This is done to show respect to our country and the men and women who serve every day. I had no clue this was done until I was with my husband one day and everyone started pulling their cars over. I was so confused! Now, I expect it and have gotten used to the sounds of Revelry and Retreat playing every morning and evening.

2. NO PDA

When my husband is in his uniform and on duty, we have to act a little differently. Not that we go around making out in public, but when my husband is in his uniform we don’t kiss or hold hands. Soldiers are not supposed to show any signs of affection while on duty. There are exceptions such as when he is leaving for deployment or getting home from deployment. Another thing I learned is to walk on the left side of my husband when he is in uniform. This is done so that if the soldier passes someone and needs to salute, the person walking with them isn’t in the way.

3. Bases = Towns

I learned that most military bases are like their own little towns. They have everything you could need from a post office to a grocery store, restaurants to hospitals. I had no idea they are so big and have places for “living” not just working. When stationed at Fort Stewart, I loved going to the gym to workout, the PX to shop, the park to take walks, and the pool to swim. I had only been on a military installation once before, so when my husband took me on a tour of Fort Stewart after I moved there I was shocked to see they had their own golf course and gas station.

4. Army Wives was Wrong

How did I learn about military life before I became a part of it? I watched Army Wives. It’s a great show, and I still love it. But it doesn’t give the most accurate portrayal of military life. I think the show makes it look like making friends is easy and FRGs are awesome. Sometimes this may be true, but a lot of times it’s not. Making friends is difficult. And some FRGs are well, pathetic. I wish it weren’t so, but that’s the truth. My advice to other newbies: get involved as much as you can, attend the FRG meetings, volunteer — do whatever it takes to meet new people so that making connections comes easier. Military life is a lot harder if you are doing it alone.

5. Equipment Galore

I had no idea how much Army equipment my husband has in his possession. Boots, gas masks, tan T-shirts, rain gear, ear pro, and waterproof notebooks — just to name a few. I thought he’d just have his uniform and everything else would be kept at work, but that is not the case. While living in Georgia, we basically had one room set aside to hold all his military stuff. Some days, like when he would come home from the field, it looked like the Army exploded all over my house! Here’s a tip: Make your soldier unpack all his stuff after time in the field so laundry can be done. Nothing smells quite like dirty shirts and underwear that have been hiding in a bag for the past month after being worn several times in the desert!

6. Switch Insurances

I had to learn this the hard way. Military families move a lot, so if you move you may need to switch your insurance. TriCare is split into North, South, and West — depending where you live. If you’ve moved from one area of the country to another, you may need to switch. At the same time TriCare is split into two departments — Prime and Standard. Do your research to find out which insurance is best for your family and make sure you are covered with that department of TriCare. You also want to make sure the doctor you want to see is covered. Do all of this before actually visiting the doctor’s office. Unfortunately, after moving from Georgia to Indiana, I ended up having to pay a doctor’s bill. I thought someone from TriCare had switched me to the insurance I needed and made sure my doctor was covered, but it turns out the representative hadn’t switched me and had given me the wrong information. Save yourself hours on the phone and a big mess by taking my advice!

These are just a few of the things I’ve learned as a new military spouse. I think when I hit two years as a milspouse, I probably won’t be considered “new” anymore.

What are some things you’ve learned?

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