Today, we have another guest blogger — Pam from The Coastie Couple. Take it away Pam!
Hey guys! I’m Pam and I’m here today to share a few of the things I’ve learned from deployment with you. We’ve been through so many deployments in our three years together that I’ve lost count at this point. Are we on number five or number six? Deployments are never easy, but I have learned quite a few things from them. I thought it’d be fun to share some of those with you today.
Check Out These Things You Can Learn From Deployment
1. Your friends are going to mean more to you now than ever before.
I can’t tell you the number of times a night out with friends lifted my spirits. Sometimes all it took was a text conversation and I found that I was back to my old self. I’ve learned that it’s important to open up to your friends during this time. They typically have the special talent of cheering you up like no one else can.
2. This is the best time to try a new hobby.
The first time my husband deployed, I started a blog. The second time he deployed, I tried out pole fitness. It seems that with each deployment, I find something new to try out. This not only helps fill the time, but it also allows me to explore who I am as a person without him around. For this latest deployment, I’m diving head first into creating a daily exercise routine for myself – one that I can hopefully stick with even after he gets home.
3. If time and money allow, travel.
I love filling the time apart with trips to see new things. It gives me something to talk to him about when he’s telling me about his adventures out at sea (and some of the cool places he has seen). Now that we live on the opposite coast of my family, I use deployments as the perfect excuse to take a trip home to see my family and friends (see #1).
4. Allow yourself to be emotional.
I have learned that bottling up my emotions helps no one – especially me. I typically give myself permission to feel all of the emotions right after he leaves. Within a couple of days, I’m able to pick myself back up and start creating my own independent routine. Every now and then, the loneliness bug will still creep into my life and I allow myself to embrace the emotions when it does in order to keep moving forward. Bottling things up leads to explosions (at least in my case).
5. Something is always going to go wrong.
I’ve heard this so many times from so many different spouses – things always fall apart when the guys are away. On some level, it’s true. On another level, I think it just seems that way. Things seem more extreme when you’re dealing with them by yourself. I’d say be prepared for the unexpected, but that would be a hard thing to accomplish.
6. Remember it’s only temporary.
This is the biggest piece of advice I can give to myself and to any other wife that’s going through a deployment (or going through something else that keeps them apart). It doesn’t last forever and eventually, you do get the awesome homecoming where you get to hold your love in your arms once again.
Have you been through a deployment? What’s something you learned from it?
Pam has been blogging for two years at Hodge Podge Moments. She lives in California with her husband who is in the Coast Guard. His boat currently takes him out to sea for long periods time. He recently suggested that they start a blog together and now they blog about their adventures from coast to coast at The Coastie Couple. She is currently taking a break from her teaching career to pursue fitness coaching. You can read more about that on her blog. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest quite frequently throughout the week.
Great post! For me, everything has gone horribly wrong so far and he’s only been gone a week. In the first 24 hours, alone, I got a parking ticket and half the keys on my MacBook randomly stopped working (it’ll cost about $300 to fix it…). On top of that, I’ve ruined my 4.0 GPA in school, my living arrangements aren’t working out, and all my military friends are hundreds of miles away. I’ve definitely had my emotional days (almost every day) and remembering that this is only temporary, has been a bit challenging. I’m hoping it gets better in the next few weeks!
Sorry to hear that Keating. I really do hope things get better!
Growing up, I always heard my mom say that everything goes wrong when the guys are gone. I never quite understood until I married a military guy myself. It seems everything goes wrong when he’s not around to help or deal with my emotional self. (It seems everything breaks right before or right after he heads out.) I’m sending good vibes your way Keating! Hopefully it improves quickly. 🙂
Pam from The Coastie Couple recently posted…Santa Cruz Highlights