After having a miscarriage, at first I thought I could pretend that I was never pregnant at all. Perhaps, if I could make myself believe that there never even was a baby then the loss wouldn’t be so hard. I could quickly move on and be happy again.
That idea didn’t last long. As the reality set in, and my grief began, I knew there was no way I could ever forget.
Would it be easier to forget it all? Yes. But that is most definitely not the best option. Instead, I know that I need to remember. I need to grieve the loss so I can heal and move forward. But even in moving forward, I don’t ever want to forget. I don’t want others to forget either. I need people to recognize that I didn’t “just have a miscarriage,” I lost my baby — a baby that did exist (even at 10 weeks) and was very loved.
It seems it is easy for some to think of this as “just a miscarriage.” But the fact is, I had a baby. I had life inside me. Even without hearing the heartbeat of that precious life, I still knew there was life. And the second you know there is life inside you, the dreams begin. I want to remember my baby, and I want you to too.
When we began telling our families about the pregnancy, I recorded the reactions. I couldn’t wait to put all the videos together so everyone could see the happy and shocked reactions. I couldn’t wait to someday show my little one how happy everyone was when they found out about him/her. I wanted our baby to know he/she was loved from the very beginning.
After the miscarriage, I decided I still wanted to put all the reaction videos together. I wanted to do it in remembrance of our baby, to show that this baby was loved from the very beginning. I stayed up late, not able to sleep, coming up with ideas on how to reveal the news to my loved ones. I didn’t want those sleepless nights to go in vain.
Today, I’m sharing that video with you all. This is a happy video full of love for a new life.
There are other ways to remember my baby. Travis and I have talked about different ways we plan to remember our Little Dumplin.
After Miscarriage: Ways to Remember a Lost Baby
- Plant a tree in remembrance in your yard (We plan to do this at some point.)
- Get a piece of jewelry to wear (I really like this necklace.)
- Get or make a printable with a quote or scripture and frame it in your house (I’m working on a piece to frame in our home right now.)
- Make a video of your photos or videos to keep (Like I did above.)
- Make a scrapbook
- Write in a journal or on a blog
- Frame your sonogram and put it somewhere special
- Purchase one of these special pieces of artwork from The Seashore of Remembrance
- Release a floating lantern into the sky (We plan to do this.)
- Have a balloon release on your due date
- Write a letter to your baby
- Order a Molly Bear (this is such a neat idea!)
- Order Certificate of Life to keep
Those are just a few of things we have thought of or plan to do. What other ideas do you have?
You can read my miscarriage story here. Or read my post Things I Didn’t Know About Miscarriage … Until I Had One.
You can also follow my Pinterest board Miscarriage for more posts about this topic.
If you found this post helpful as you navigate through the grief of miscarriage, I encourage you to check out my eBook Miscarriage & Mourning: Encouragement after Pregnancy Loss.
My heart is still breaking for you both. But I know you now have a special little angel watching over you both. You are still in my prayers during this time of grieving.
Even though we haven’t seen or spoken personally in years, I still look at you as my Pyoca sister, and I Love you!
Thank you so much Jessica. I consider you a Pyoca sister too! 🙂
Praying for you! Little Dumplin was loved so much in his/her short time on earth.
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Thanks Bailey!
Tiffany, you and Travis are so amazing. Thank you for sharing this beautiful example of what love should be.
I’ve kept you guys in my prayers for a long time. Especially in the last few months. Not knowing why but you’ve been on my heart. The song you had in your video has gotten me through many tough times. I will continue to pray for you and for God to wrap his arms around you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Tiffany and Travis, What a beautiful love story. My prayers are with you both.
Love and hugs.
Hello, my name is Sara, and I loss my baby 3 weeks ago, I was 27 weeks, i went to make me an ultrasound and the doctor just told me that my baby heartbeat wasn’t there, I was shocked, I didn’t cry cuz in that moment, I just couldn’t believed it, now that I began read all these blogs, I don’t know what to feel, I don’t feel better, but it help me to understand that I am not the only one, that be scary for my next pregnancy is pretty normal. I doesn’t knew that is so common, thank you guys for share your experiences it’s very helpful
P.S. Sorry about my English, I am learning, sorry about that, I hope you can understand what I mean
Sara, I understand. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know that nothing can take the pain away, but I hope you do know you are not alone and so many are going through this too. I hope you experience healing both physical and emotional.