As I’m writing this, Raylee is around two weeks away from being a one-year-old. It seems like we were just getting the hang of life with a newborn, and now — bam — she’s almost a toddler! The first year really went so fast. And it’s got me reflecting a lot lately.
I always thought it was a little silly to throw a big party for a one-year-old. It’s not like they have any clue what’s going on, and they won’t remember the cake, presents, or decorations. What’s the point? Well, can I tell you a secret? The birthday party I’m throwing for Raylee in a couple weeks is more of a party for me. It’s an “I survived and so did she” party! The fact that we are all alive and functioning after one year — that’s worth celebrating! If you are in the new stage of motherhood you’ll probably agree with me. (Really, I think us moms should be the ones getting presents! Ha!)
I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard the year was for me. Motherhood was not what I expected. Of course it was full of joy, and sometimes my heart feels like it might explode from all the love I feel for my daughter. But at the same time, this year has been full of adjustments. Motherhood requires you to be selfless, to sacrifice, to give of yourself all day, every day, with not a single day off. Even if you happen to have a break or a vacation, it’s filled with worry about how your kid is doing. Not to mention missing them. Your whole life gets turned upside down.
Do you realize that we are the first generation of women to google our parenting questions before we ask others. The thing about google is there are as many different answers as there are brands of bottles. You are given so many theories that you can become paralyzed to make a decision. I felt like this entire year I’ve second-guessed almost all of my parenting decisions. I’ve been so worried about getting things right and doing what’s best. And that’s exhausting.
Surviving the First Year
So how did we possibly make it to a year? How did I survive? I think the answer is friendship.
God has blessed me with such an encouraging support group. And the crazy thing is most of my closest, most supportive fellow mamas live across state lines. I’ve got a couple close ladies here who have given me advice and encouragement this year. And the rest have all been through this online world. Through Facebook messages and texts, Voxer messages and Instagram comments.
I’m blown away by my readers and followers on this blog and my social media pages. Every time I have been open and vulnerable, sharing about struggles or just being real about how hard this new job is — people are so supportive. I’m always sitting there waiting for the criticism and the judgement … and instead, the love starts pouring in. Women who get it, who’ve been there or are there now. They lift me up with their words and remind me that I’ll get through.
And I did. We made it. One year.
Jesus gave us the ultimate example of how to live our lives. Do you realize that he didn’t do it alone? He surrounded himself with community — 12 close friends, the disciples. He showed us how to live and we need to follow his example. We need a support system. And the only way to find one is by being real and open and vulnerable.
I believe that Satan uses “mom guilt” to isolate us. He feeds us lies, telling us we don’t know what we’re doing or we’re bad moms or other moms don’t have this problem. But the truth is we are all struggling with something at some point. It’s when we let ourselves be vulnerable with each other that we can come together and lift one another up. And if we do it enough, we can make it to one year. And two years. And five years. And before we know it, 18 years.
If you want to join me in being real, post to Facebook or Instagram using the #sunshinerealitycheck. Check out my first “Reality Check” here.
Check out some of my other motherhood posts!