No, I’m Not Ready for Baby #2.

I’m really quite surprised how often I have been asked about having another baby. The questions began really early, like when Raylee was still a newborn! By the time she was 1, it seemed most people expected us to begin trying again immediately. I’m sure that’s not the case, but it was starting to feel that way!

Of course, I don’t mind when people really close to me ask these questions, but it does bother me when strangers or acquaintances mention it. For instance, just the other day the librarian told me I need to give Raylee a brother or sister. I know that’s a normal thing to say to someone, but I feel like it shouldn’t be. What if I had just experienced a miscarriage or have been trying with no success? Those questions can really hurt.

Several of the women that I was pregnant with the first time around are now pregnant with their second babies. It’s honestly made me feel a bit discouraged. I’ve felt like, “Why am I not ready when all of them are? Am I not a good mama? Is this harder for me than all of them? What does that say about me?” 

I know they all want their kids to be close together in age. So do I. I want them to be close together in age so they will be close as they grow up. But I realized what I want even more than that is for them to have a happy, healthy mommy. So, no. I’m not quite ready to give Raylee a sibling. And that’s OK.

Reasons Why I’m Not Ready for #2

Fear

Honestly, there’s the fear of another miscarriage. Would I be able to handle the grief of losing a baby while trying to care for a toddler?

Then there’s the fear of taking care of two kids! That seems scary to me. It sounds hard and overwhelming, especially when we don’t have any type of support system here yet.

The other fear I have is that I will tear during delivery again. I’m not sure how I would be able to recover, care for a newborn, AND care for a toddler. I’m sure family would visit to help just like last time, but it’s still scary to think about.

My Body

I really just want my body to myself for awhile. That may sound selfish, but it’s the truth. I carried Raylee inside me for 10 months, then breastfed her for a year. Physically, I just want a break. I also really like where my body is at right now, so I’m not quite ready for my waist to expand again.

I am really enjoying getting to wear whatever I want! No maternity clothes, no nursing clothes. I’m able to wear my normal clothes again. I haven’t done that in basically two years! Not to mention — normal bras!

Finances

This isn’t a huge factor, but it is something to consider. Travis has a new job now, and our budget has tightened a bit. We also just a bought a house and have a million projects (most of which are expensive) that we want to do to it. Financially, are we ready to double our diaper costs? Plus, this time around our new insurance doesn’t cover delivery 100% so we’ll have those medical bills to pay.

So, in case you are wondering when we are going to have baby number two — there are six reasons why it won’t be this year or even early next year. I’m not ready, and that’s perfectly OK.  Of course, I love the idea of another baby … I’m looking forward to seeing Raylee be a big sister … but just not quite yet.

How far apart are your kiddos? Did you wait awhile between kids or have them pretty close together?

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