To tell the full birth story of our sweet Josiah, we have to back up just a little. My entire pregnancy I had assumed I would probably be induced just as I had been with Raylee and Ruthi. It’s like my body just needs a kick and then it takes over on its own. I’ve had fairly easy inductions compared to a lot of people. I actually like being induced because I can have a plan for childcare and I know better what to expect. So when I got to 39 weeks and my doctor explained that the hospital has now changed their policy, I was taken aback. My OB said because the hospital is so busy, they won’t schedule any inductions (unless medically necessary) until you are 40+5, which landed me on a weekend, and they don’t schedule them on weekends. That left me with the date of Jan. 31, when I would be 41 weeks pregnant. Honestly, I was upset by this change of plans. It was unexpected. I didn’t have childcare lined up that late, and I also just didn’t want to wait that long.
Fast forward to the day after my due date. I went in to be checked and was 3 cm dilated. They did an ultrasound on baby to get an estimate of his size and check on all his fluid. He was measuring big – they estimated 9 lb 13 oz, with a margin of error of plus or minus one pound. He could be a pretty normal size, or he could be huge. The OB I saw that day suggested having a c-section because of the risk for shoulder dystocia with larger babies born vaginally. This really upset me. It was more news I wasn’t expecting. Now I had to make a huge decision. Opt for a c-section or stick to the plan of delivering vaginally. A c-section scared me so much – it’s surgery, and ya’ll know how my last surgery turned out, even though it too was supposed to be a routine procedure that’s done all the time. Plus, after researching I found that your risk for infection is higher with c-sections … infections can lead to sepsis, so again I was scared. I also felt like a c-section seemed like a drastic move when their measurements could be way off and shoulder dystocia, while a real risk, is also rare. At the same time, I didn’t want to put my baby at risk. I needed to choose what was the safest, best option for both of us.
After talking with several people – one who has had a baby with a shoulder dystocia, many who have had c-sections, and family members who are L&D nurses, I chose to stick to my plan of delivering vaginally. I did try to move my induction date up so he wouldn’t grow anymore, but the hospital had no availability. I was still set for Jan. 31. I prayed and prayed I would go into labor on my own that week of my due date, while my mom was already here to take care of the girls. I did so much walking and ate lots of spicy foods and pineapple. Nothing worked.
Monday, Jan. 31, came. I called the hospital at 5 a.m., but they didn’t have space for me yet. They said they would call when they were ready for me and to just go about my morning normally. I had no idea if I’d be waiting a few hours or a few days. (I waited two days to be induced with Ruthi because the hospital was so full.)
Thankfully, though, the hospital called late morning and said they were ready for me. They asked me to come in around 12:30 that afternoon. I had already showered and had breakfast. This gave us just enough time to finish packing, load the car, get a snack, and talk to the girls to explain everything that was about to happen. I was so glad we got to leave while they were awake and we could say goodbye and make sure they understood what was happening. I had been worried if I did go into labor on my own, that we would leave in the middle of the night. I just didn’t want to do that to them again after everything we’ve been through. Plus, childcare plans had changed multiple times, so I wanted to be clear with them on who was going to be taking care of them while we were away.
Once we got to the hospital, it took awhile to get situated. We got to our room, I changed into my hospital gown, and we met my nurse, Becky. Right away she put my IV in, which is honestly just a terrible part of having a baby. I warned her that everyone has trouble getting them in, and I was right. She gave up on my arm pretty quickly once the tears started streaming and moved to my hand. She also did my Covid test and got me all registered.
The OB on call that day came in to see me too. We showed them both the snack basket we had made for them all, and I explained that I had previous medical trauma and hoped they would read my story, which was written out with the snacks, to better understand all I would be dealing with while at the hospital. I love the quote, “Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory.” The fear from being back in a hospital and the reality of all that could go wrong was so real. I knew that at any moment I could react with a panic attack or weeping or who knows what. Thankfully, they all did read my story. Becky seemed so understanding and sweet. Several nurses came in to tell us thank you for the snacks and thank you for sharing my story. One nurse even said she would be praying for me.
The OB and nurse were so ready to get the show on the road. In fact, it felt a little rushed and made me nervous. The OB couldn’t wait to break my water, and as soon as the 30 minutes of monitoring was done, she got right to it! I was still only 3 cm dilated, which really surprised me after all the walking I had done that week! She broke my water, which wasn’t a very pleasant experience. With Raylee’s birth, they broke my water after the epidural was in so I didn’t feel a thing. With Ruthi’s birth, my water broke on its own during induction. So this was an unexpected and new experience for me. After they broke my water, they saw that he had had a bowel movement as meconium was coming out with the fluid. This really worried me, but they assured me this was normal for someone who was 41 weeks and most likely wouldn’t be an issue. There would be extra nurses in the room at delivery to make sure he was safe. They wanted to see if my body would take over after my water broke, but it didn’t.
At 2:30 p.m., they started my Pitocin. It was a little after 3 p.m. that I started feeling contractions and I learned my Covid test was negative. Contractions started coming pretty hard, and Travis always reminds me to go ahead and get the epidural. It’s not a contest to see how long I can last and how much pain I can endure. The OB had said the same thing, so it wasn’t long before I asked for the epidural. We told the anesthesiologist that during my last epidural my blood pressure had dropped too low. So he said he would “take it easy” on me to hopefully prevent that from happening again.
Getting the epidural is never fun, of course, but this time it was extra scary to me. They let Travis stay in the room, but he had to sit down and let the nurse be the one to help me. Becky talked me through it all and held me. I was a sobbing mess through it, but it was mostly from the fear – that trauma reaction. Becky was so understanding and helped me through it so much.
By 4:15 p.m., the epidural was in. Rather than lay me on my back, which can cause that blood pressure drop, they kept turning me on my side – back and forth. They checked me at 4:30 and I was 5 cm dilated. But by 5 p.m., my blood pressure was beginning to drop so they gave me ephedrine to help and kept turning me.
With both of my previous epidurals, I had been so relaxed and numb that I was able to sleep and relax. That was not the case with this one. Instead, I was freezing. The labor shakes had started after my epidural. Everything felt tingly and uncomfortable. It was anything but relaxing. It did take the pain of the contractions away, but I could still feel the pressure of them. I knew when one was happening where previously someone had to tell me. I hoped this would help me push better. I could still wiggle my toes too, so I knew this epidural was not as strong as my others.
They were a bit concerned because baby’s heartrate was having late decelerations, meaning it was dipping at the end of my contractions and not coming back up until after the contraction ended. Because of this they had to turn off my Pitocin and insert an internal monitor to track my contractions. I was asking if something was wrong, and they did a great job of explaining it without making me worry. They were so calm the whole time, which helped me stay calm. They decided to give me fluid through my IUPC around 6 p.m. They explained that a lot of fluid had left my body already, leaving little room for baby to move around. I honestly don’t understand it fully, but they inserted fluid up there for the kid to swim around some more.
It was almost time for shift change. We were sad for our nurse to leave, and we joked with her that she did all the hard work and now someone else was going to come in and get the credit when the baby came. Since she was about to leave, she came over and talked to me about all that was happening. She began to explain that I wasn’t progressing and that sometimes that could mean I would need a c-section. I could tell that she could tell that I was scared of that. I guess most women probably are and don’t want to hear that. She was trying to comfort and encourage me. While she was talking, I began to feel a ton of pressure. I interrupted her and told her what I was feeling. She checked me and what do you know – I was complete, 10 cm dilated! We laughed that my body heard her say c-section and said no way jose! In less than an hour, I had went from 5 cm to 10 cm, with my contractions coming just one minute apart. It was go time! I was excited and anxious to start pushing. It was the first time during birth that I felt like pushing.
But we had to wait for my doctor to arrive. It was a little after 7 p.m. when she got there. My nurse, Becky, caught the new nurse up on everything but said she was staying to see this baby be born! I loved that, and it made me so happy that she wanted to stay to see us through.
Everyone was ready. We started my push playlist and they got a mirror in place. This was the first time I chose to use a mirror while pushing. When they first wheeled it over, I wondered if this was such a good idea – it was a pretty disgusting view to be honest. But I knew seeing the progress would help me know when pushing was working. This was also the first time that I told everyone else when it was time to push rather than them telling me. I liked that I could feel the contractions coming so I knew when to push. There were definitely rest times between pushes too, so it didn’t feel rushed or urgent. It was by far the best pushing experience I’ve had.
After about five minutes of pushing, the OB suggested doing a little cut. I told her no. I had an episiotomy with Raylee that ended in a fourth degree tear, and I will never choose to go that route again. Plus, I had barely been given a chance to push at this point. I told her to let me keep trying and she agreed. It took a total of about 10 minutes, and he was out. I will never forget what it looked like seeing his head come out, knowing I probably only had one more push to get his body out. It was amazing and terrifying and gross and wonderful. I remember seeing the cord and then his head and worrying when he wasn’t immediately crying. But it didn’t take long before his screams came as everyone worked to suction him and wipe him down while he laid on my chest. Travis cut the cord as the tears came for me. I was overwhelmed with relief and joy. I had a son.
Josiah Timothy was born at 7:19 p.m., on Monday, Jan. 31st. He weighed 9 lb 7 oz. and measured 19.75 inches long.
I had to have stitches because I had a second degree tear, which they expected because of his size and my scar tissue from my previous tears. Because of his size, he had to have his blood sugar checked every two hours before eating. Thankfully, he passed all of his tests – healthy as can be. We are all now home, recovering and trying to survive this newborn life with two other kids to keep alive. I want to say a big thank you to everyone who prayed for me and Josiah.
Check out my other birth stories here:
You can also see all my pregnancy posts here or all my baby posts here.