Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

For Valentine’s Day coming up, I’ve decided to share about the time in my life where I had a completely broken heart. Not the usual love post, huh?

Well, my heart is aching a little for those out there who are struggling with this day, this month, this year. The people who have struggling relationships and especially those who have already felt the pain of it ending.

I’m sharing things I wrote during my own personal break up. Be sure to read the first post — Waiting for Morning, which explains more about the break up.

This is the second installment of A Glimpse into my Heart Break, where I share with you ways to mend a broken heart.

9 Tips for Mending a Broken Heart

1. Cry.

That’s right. Get it all out. You have every right to feel sad. It is much healthier to cry and release your emotions than bottle them up inside. You may cry for the next 52 days or you may only need to cry for two days. Do whatever is best for you, just don’t hold back your emotions. Personally, I’ve cried every single day since my heart was broke. For the first week, it was pointless to even wear eye makeup at all. Crying is okay.

There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:4

2. Find Fellowship.

Surround yourself with supportive loved ones who care about you. Tons of people in the world have had a broken heart before, so find some of them. They will understand. Find people who will listen, who will let you cry, who will give encouragement, and who will distract you with activities or conversation. I am incredibly blessed to have a very caring family and a couple best friends. They have listened when I needed to talk, distracted me when I needed to get my mind off the sadness, and showed me understanding through my situation.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. – Proverbs 17:17

3. Find Enjoyment.

Spend time doing something you are passionate about or something you truly enjoy. For example: play a musical instrument, paint a picture, go horseback riding, bake cookies, plant flowers, etc. For me, my passions are writing and children. So I’m writing this blog for one. Also, I am going to start volunteering at a childcare center every morning so I can spend time with children.

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their work all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15

4. Exercise.

When you have a broken heart, it can be easy to fall into depression. Exercise is a great way to stay away from that. The chemicals released when you exercise are supposed to make you feel better. Get out of bed and find ways to move! For example: go for a run, join a dance class, hit the weight room in your local gym, swim laps in a pool, go for a bike ride with friends, etc. I really enjoy dancing as my way of exercising. I have been getting together with some family members every morning to do zumba together. It helps keep me motivated when I know others are counting on me.

I discipline my body and keep it under control, so that after preaching to others I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. – 1 Corinthians 9:27

5. Eat Healthy.

People deal with sadness in different ways. Some, like me, lose their appetites when they are really upset. Others eat way too much. Both are unhealthy. It’s important for your physical health and emotional well-being to eat proteins, vegetables, and fruits every day. This is one thing I have a hard time doing. Usually I don’t even want to eat, but when I do all I want is ice cream, chocolate, and cookies. I have a feeling I’m not the only one.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

6. Guard Your Heart.

There are two extremes you can fall into when your heart has been broken. The first is to give yourself away. It can be easy for some with broken hearts to find a “rebound” or someone they can temporarily date to help ease the pain. Unfortunately, this only hurts you and the other person involved. Instead, guard your heart and give yourself time to heal. And not only guard your heart, but your mind and body as well. This one will be easy for me as the thought of ever dating someone else currently sickens me.

Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. – Proverbs 4:23

7. Open Your Heart.

Put down the barbed wire fence and machine guns. It is easy to go from one extreme to the next — you shouldn’t go around dating everyone who comes along because you are hurt, but you also shouldn’t put walls up around your heart so that no one will ever be able to get in again. The second extreme is hardening your heart completely. Many people become bitter about dating, relationships, or marriage after being hurt. But don’t let it keep you from loving again — maybe not anytime soon, but someday.

Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert. – Hebrews 3:8

8. Pray.

Who better to go to with your pain than God? He sees all your emotions and thoughts. He knows exactly how you are feeling. Take it all to Him. Ask Him to comfort you, to wrap His strong loving arms around you. Ask Him to heal your heart and show you how much He loves you. God knows the desires of your heart, and He wants to give them to you. But He also knows what’s best for you. Trust in Him and His unfailing plan.

Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me. – Psalm 86:6-7

9. Give It Time.

You can do all the things listed above in one day, but unfortunately your heart will still be broken. The only thing that truly heals a broken heart is time and God. Eventually the pain you are feeling now will only be a memory. Until then, you have to push through the pain. Doing the things above will only help in mending your heart. But true healing can only come from the God who loves you more than you could imagine. He will heal your heart over time.

For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like  a watch in the night. – Psalm 90:4

If you haven’t already, be sure to read the first installment in this series Waiting for Morning, and stay tuned for the next one.

(Disclaimer: Travis and I eventually got back together, and now we are happily married. That might not be the exact ending to your story, but I can guarantee that God does have a plan for your life and He will bring you out of this darkness if you let Him.)