When I wrote the post What I Didn't Know About Miscarriage Until I Had One, I talked about the fear of pregnancy. I talked about how pregnancy after miscarriage would never be the same. I was just predicting, and I wish I could say I had been wrong. But I was right. This pregnancy is very different because of my previous loss. How Pregnancy After Miscarriage is Different "No, it's my second." You wouldn't believe how many times people ask if this is your first pregnancy. To strangers, I just respond yes. I don't want them to feel awkward or uncomfortable by bringing up a sad subject. Continue Reading
First Trimester Life
The news is finally out! I have wanted so badly to tell you all about the pregnancy, but we wanted to wait for two reasons -- 1) We wanted to make sure everything was going well and baby was growing, 2) We wanted to tell close family members ourselves before announcing it to the public. It took quite some time to get around to telling everyone. In fact, we finally got the chance to tell Travis' grandparents the day before we announced it to the world. Since I've been dying to talk about it, this post is going to be all about my first trimester. This is going to be a long post because I have a Continue Reading
Coming Soon
I've been thinking for weeks about how to write this post and what I should say. I have very exciting news to share, but I want to do so with a cautious heart. Some will be thrilled with this news, but for others it could be very difficult. And for that reason, many tears have been shed as I type this post. Tears of gratitude, but also tears of sorrow for those who are longing for what I now have. The News Travis and I are going from a family of two to three. We are expecting. I wanted to be cautious and sensitive with this announcement because I know there are women out there who are Continue Reading
A Letter to My Angel Baby
In January of this year, I began to miscarry our first child -- our angel baby. Tomorrow is what would have been my due date. I can't help but think of what this month would have been like. Preparing the nursery and making sure everything is just right. Packing a hospital bag. The fear and happiness of knowing baby is coming. Going to the hospital. Getting to hold our first child. Seeing the look on my husband's face as he realizes he is a dad. Watching family members hold our precious little one. So many would-have-beens. This is my letter to our baby in Heaven, our child who we lovingly Continue Reading
The Book that Helped Me Heal After my Miscarriage
I sat there scrolling through Pinterest after searching "miscarriage." I wanted to see all the quotes, read the stories of others', and get any tips and advice I could. I had no idea how to get through and heal from such a painful time, such a deep loss, so I was grasping for anything and everything that could help. I came across a book on Pinterest, and I ordered it. I read that book during my first weeks of having a natural miscarriage. But you know what, it didn't really help. I didn't find it all that comforting or healing. It was a decent book, but I wouldn't recommend it to a Continue Reading
When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt
I woke up early and wasn't able to get back to sleep. I did my normal morning routine, and ate my bowl of cereal on the couch while watching the Today Show. I'm normally not up and watching the 8 am hour of the show, but thanks to my early rising I got to see the co-hosts Matt and Savannah bringing me the news. And then out of nowhere, she announced it. I wasn't expecting it, and neither were the other hosts of the show. Savannah pulled the paper from the fish bowl and asked, "Are you pregnant?" Her answer was yes. Everyone cheered and asked questions. And my heart sank. I turned Continue Reading
Mother’s Day After Miscarriage
Sunday is almost here. Every commercial, every ad on every website, and everything I see on my Facebook news feed reminds me that Mother's Day is coming. It's just a couple days away. And to be totally honest, I don't know whether I'm ready for it or not. Basically every big or even somewhat big event from the last few months have been reminders of what should have been. The first time I went home to visit was difficult. I knew that everyone should have been oohing and ahhing over my growing belly. When we went to Six Flags, I knew that I should have not been able to ride some of the rides Continue Reading
Having a D&C Miscarriage
Most of you have read my miscarriage story. One of things I kept thinking through the process was, "I wish there was some kind of guide I could read so I would know what to expect." But there isn't anything like that because every woman's body and circumstance is different. Sometimes, doctors will recommend you have a surgical procedure called a D&C (dilation and curettage). Others, like my doctor, won't give you a specific recommendation. You will get the choice of whether to have a D&C or miscarry naturally. For those of you in that situation, I imagine you are wishing you could Continue Reading
Having a Natural Miscarriage
When I found out I was miscarrying our first child, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I didn't know what the pain would be like or how long I would bleed. I didn't know what to do. I was clueless about what a D&C is or what a natural miscarriage would be like. My experience was abnormal because we were right in the middle of a PCS (move) to another state. I went to three different hospitals, and at every appointment never saw the same doctor. It made it extra hard to understand what was going on or even what was going to happen. I felt like each doctor told me something Continue Reading
3 Things to Say to Someone Dealing with Loss
Losing our unborn baby at 10 weeks has been the greatest loss I've ever felt. I miscarried naturally and after the first week, we shared the news of our loss publicly. I wanted others to know what was going on, I needed prayers, and I wanted a way to express my feelings openly. There are many reasons why I talk about my miscarriage. When you are open about your loss, it means others are going to try to console you. Others will want to offer their love and support. I am so very grateful that we have so many people who love us and are here for us. For every 10 supportive comments, there's Continue Reading
Ways to Cope After Miscarriage
How can we cope after such a tragic loss? Losing a child is an indescribable loss that brings a heavy grief with it. So how can we cope? My unborn baby would be 19 weeks right now. In just a few short weeks, I would be finding out the gender. (We think of our baby as a boy because of a dream I had while pregnant.) Travis and I already had a theme and plan for a gender reveal party. There's not a day that has gone by where I haven't thought about our baby. I still miss him. In these past two months, although I have still felt pain and grief, I can feel myself learning to cope. I can feel Continue Reading
Ways to Bless a Woman Who Lost a Baby
Do you have a friend who has suffered a miscarriage or infant loss? Studies have shown that the grief one experiences after losing a wanted baby at any number of weeks is equivalent to the grief of losing a close friend or family member. So what can you do to help? How can you bless your friend during her loss? Ways to Help a Friend Who Lost a Baby Send a card. Finding a sympathy card and writing a short note inside doesn't take much work, but it does mean a ton. For me, I love receiving mail and every single card we received after my miscarriage I cherished. I kept all of them. Continue Reading
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