I have a desire to be hospitable. I would love for people to know me as someone who opens her home to others, someone who bakes treats for others just because, someone who makes you feel welcome, and someone who helps and serves without being asked. I want to strive for hospitality. I honestly long for the opportunity to host get-togethers and welcome friends into our cozy apartment.
For months, I’d been wanting to take baked goods to our neighbors. It just hadn’t happened. I could tell you it’s because I was just so busy or because I always forgot to buy the ingredients at the store or because I couldn’t decide what to make exactly. All those reasons would be true, but they weren’t the biggest reason it had never happened.
I hadn’t taken baked goods to my neighbors because of fear. I was afraid to knock on their doors, afraid of what they would think of me, afraid of what they would think of my baked goods. And most importantly, afraid of rejection. I know that sounds so silly. First of all, who is going to turn down a free plate of yummy food delivered to their door? And even if they did, who cares, right?
Unfortunately, I care. I guess I’m just a sensitive person who takes everything a little too personally. To me, being rejected means being hurt. And in trying to save myself from any possible hurt, I’m keeping myself from the chance to be hospitable and ultimately true fellowship and friendship.
After months of letting the fear of rejection rule my life, I read a post about 20 ways to be intentional in your neighborhood. Leigh Ann gave some great advice and one of the ideas she gave included passing out baked goods to your neighbors. And there it was again. My idea that I was too scared to do was shoved back in my face. In the weeks to come, I was determined to make it happen.
My Strive for Hospitality
At first I wanted to make something really different, something that went with the Independence Day holiday … something totally homemade and complicated. However, I ended up just making brownies. And instead of having cute disposable plates with decorated gift tags, I just used regular paper plates wrapped in aluminum foil.
I wrote a little note of encouragement and stuck it to the foil. It was absolutely not what I had envisioned. But I realized what I had wanted to do at first was to impress people, not to love people. Jane Adams said it very well in 5 Myths About Hospitality:
Sure, it might not sound fun to let people see our imperfections. It’s humbling and it makes us a little vulnerable, but hear me out: Letting down your guard might not be such a bad thing. You see, vulnerability is an icebreaker when it comes to building friendships. When you let people see your imperfections, it can make them more at ease around you and helps you focus on serving them rather than just trying to impress them. Trust me, hospitality isn’t about being perfect and doing everything ‘just right.’ Ultimately, hospitality is about love.
I’m so glad I didn’t try to be “perfect” and instead let some simple brownies show my neighbors love. I don’t know if those little plates of brownies will grow friendships. But as my husband and I went door-to-door, we made sure to let each neighbor know that if they ever needed anything to please let us know. Perhaps, someday down the road those brownies will remind someone that we’re here ready to help, ready to serve, ready to be a friend.
And I hope that I can rid myself of the fear of rejection, and keep striving for opportunities to be hospitable. The importance of that sentence is the word striving. In Amanda’s post The Pursuit of Hospitality, she explained what the Greek word means:
Philoxenos is the Greek word translated into English as hospitality, and it means love to strangers and guests.
She shared Romans 12:13 in her post, which states, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.”
Amanda shared that the Greek word for hospitality in this scripture is diōkontes, which is best understood in English as “aggressively chase” or “earnestly pursue.” She explained how God commands us to chase after love to guests because God knows we are human. He knows we have these reasons we aren’t doing it. Whether your reason is fear, like me, or maybe because you don’t feel like your house is clean enough or your cooking skills are good enough, God asks us to set aside those excuses and pursue or strive to be hospitable to our neighbors — showing His love through service.
What is holding you back from being hospitable? Or what are your favorite ways to show hospitality to those around you?
Check out these other great posts:
- How Hospitality Can Be as Easy as Learning One Word
- Dinner Party Menu Ideas
- Acts of Kindness for the Military Community
Be sure to follow my Pinterest board Hospitality & Kindness for other great ideas!
This came at the perfect time for me. I’ve been wanting to do something in a nearby neighborhood and FEAR is keeping me from stepping out and doing it. I was just thinking and thinking and thinking about it yesterday. I loved the scripture you shared. I am going to take a deep breath, read that scripture, say a little prayer and step out in faith…. I, too, want to strive, chase after, and become hospitable to others.
Thanks for this word of encouragement. Oh, and I loved the lesson that it doesn’t have to impress or be perfect. So true.
Congratulations on being kind to your neighbors!
Yes, go do it! And I think once you overcome that fear and go do something, it gives you this desire to do more. I’ve already planned my next strive for hospitality!