Hospitality: From the Heart, Not the Home

In a previous post, I told you guys how much I desire to be hospitable and how I am striving to love others through hospitality. And in another post, I told you about one of the ways I tried to be hospitable and it didn’t go at all how I had planned or imagined. Well, after that ice cream social, I was discouraged and the strive for hospitality kind of stopped. Then, like I told you before I went to Allume. And guess what the theme for the weekend was — Hospitality. And then, I started a study plan from She Reads Truth and guess what their topic was — Hospitality. I felt like God was whispering the word “hospitality” to me over and over. But I didn’t know why or what I was supposed to do with it. I still don’t.

When I think of hospitality I think of living in my dream home with my husband and our kids — a home with a game room and a big back yard. I picture having friends and family over for meals outside on our patio furniture and then moving to the fire pit for s’mores and fellowship. I picture being involved in our church youth group, inviting all the kids to our house for parties with hayrides and kickball games. I think of a place where my kids and their friends can hang out — where I cook them food and make them feel safe and free to be themselves. Everything is clean and smells good. It’s all warm and cozy and well, perfect.

That image is so nice and makes me feel so good. It’s practically wrapped in a bow just waiting for the time to be right so I can open it up and enjoy it.

But the thing is that whole image is way off. It’s in the future. My husband and I don’t have kids yet. We don’t even have a church to call home where we can get involved in the youth group. We don’t have a big house with a game room and fire pit. We don’t even have a yard. Our table can only fit four.

Every time I hear that whisper to open my home to others, I think of that image I see in mind. I think, “I want to, but I don’t have the room yet. I would love to have people over, but where would they sit?”

I feel like God has been saying to me, “What about now Tiffany? Why aren’t you being hospitable now?” 

God has been telling me it’s not about my home. It’s not about my small dining room table or my lack of a yard. Hospitality doesn’t have to be this picture perfect home and food and people. It’s about your heart. It’s mess and inviting people into your mess. It’s burning the dinner and saying, “Let’s order pizza!” It’s sitting on the floor. It’s spilling your drink and saying, “That’s OK. It’s just carpet.” It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it can’t be perfect and it shouldn’t be perfect. 

Entertaining= Impressing. Hospitality = Serving. God does not call us to impress others. He calls us to serve others. Author Shauna Niequist said at Allume, “I don’t want people to be impressed by me, I want them to love me. And those are two different things.” I struggle with wanting people to be impressed by me. And I don’t think I’m the only one. But what we truly want more than that, what we all long for, is to be loved. And others can only truly love you when they see who you really are — mess and all.

True hospitality is giving someone a place to be when they would otherwise be alone. When someone leaves your home, they should feel better about themselves rather than better about you. It’s about connecting deeply with people, and you don’t even need a house to do that. Hospitality is welcoming others with a present and open spirit; it’s creating a sacred place for God to be present. — Shauna Niequist

These words rang in my heart when I heard them. Shauna reminded us to be real in who we are. To be real with where we are. People feel more comfortable to be themselves when we are ourselves.

I’m still mulling this all over. Studying the She Reads Truth devotional. Praying, “What do you want me to do? How can I show hospitality?” Making plans to open my home to others. And reminding myself it doesn’t have to perfect.